How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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