a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize