woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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