no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize