I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
