Sry I called you an 8
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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