therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
