you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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