wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize