thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
