I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
