Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
