My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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