My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
