maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My ass is underappreciated
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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