Whod you bang
My vagina just recognized that song.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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