just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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