Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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