oh god the rape fog is back!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
