it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
