you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize