did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I party with great urgency now.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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