I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
