You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
