Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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