Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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