I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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