I just pynch a tree in the face
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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