You're my little dorito
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..