Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(941): View more from Florida

i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket

(212): View more from New York

Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......

(212): View more from New York

Really

(941): View more from Florida

You win

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(941): i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket (212): Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants...... (212): Really (941): You win http://tfl.nu/2qfe

Replies (4) Good night (2353) Bad night (581)
Favorite
(937): View more from Ohio

Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.

(937): View more from Ohio

He had some in his pocket. That was weird.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(937): Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon. (937): He had some in his pocket. That was weird. http://tfl.nu/q8lw

Replies (27) Good night (880) Bad night (5009)
Favorite
(604): View more from British Columbia

I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(604): I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction http://tfl.nu/piq1

Replies (19) Good night (5216) Bad night (646)
Favorite
(650): View more from California

Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(650): Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight. http://tfl.nu/6biy

Replies (47) Good night (4866) Bad night (704) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real http://tfl.nu/vc07

Replies (62) Good night (7782) Bad night (1148) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(650): View more from California

how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(650): how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths? http://tfl.nu/djnw

Replies (15) Good night (5842) Bad night (737) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(813): View more from Florida

I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(813): I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this? http://tfl.nu/o9lt

Replies (37) Good night (13280) Bad night (930) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(818): View more from California

two words...techno handjob

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(818): two words...techno handjob http://tfl.nu/l83l

Replies (31) Good night (4426) Bad night (1256) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(405): View more from Oklahoma

in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(405): in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter. http://tfl.nu/55jx

Replies (4) Good night (2930) Bad night (883) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you http://tfl.nu/278m

Replies (19) Good night (1203) Bad night (2381) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(484): i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen. http://tfl.nu/hdza

Replies (16) Good night (3821) Bad night (704) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(970): View more from Colorado

I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(970): I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out http://tfl.nu/cs49

Replies (7) Good night (1263) Bad night (323) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(307): View more from Wyoming

The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(307): The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/9x49

Replies (12) Good night (871) Bad night (285) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(603): View more from New Hampshire

I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to

(302): View more from Delaware

yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich

(302): View more from Delaware

wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(603): I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to (302): yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich (302): wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in http://tfl.nu/z48g

Replies (9) Good night (563) Bad night (222)
Favorite
(616): View more from Michigan

dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die

(1-616): View more from Michigan

that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(616): dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die (1-616): that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida http://tfl.nu/3jsk

Replies (6) Good night (882) Bad night (267) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: