I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball