I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize