So drunk its hurt
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
