You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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