she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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