dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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