So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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