doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
