those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
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i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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