craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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