i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
