No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
