help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
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Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
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Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it