Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER