you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
