the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
