my mouth tastes like poor choices
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize