The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have started to decorate penises.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize