So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
The air taste purple.
Randomize
