It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
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Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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