Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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