Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
