My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
