How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
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Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
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... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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