Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
BRING THE BAGELS
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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