Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize