how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
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Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
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I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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