it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
