I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
