lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i dont even know how to be here
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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