I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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