yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
